Monday, October 10, 2011

Forward from Dad

First of all, I know I haven't posted anything on here for a long time. I suck, I know, let's move on.

Pops forwarded me this from someone else. I knew it was too long for Facebook so I thought I would post it here. Translation our governor is an a-hole.



Dear Staff,
I wanted to send this email to you for a week now. It has taken me the
better part of this week to make sure I form my words correctly and
present to you absolute facts. I am trying to do this below. I feel very
passionate that it is my duty as the superintendent of a legitimate
public school district (EAST HOLMES) to fill you in on an occurrence I had last
Thursday
.
I was invited to hear Governor Kasich speak at a private "invitation"
only event. At first, I declined, but after more consideration, I
accepted and attended the event. Ohio House Speaker Bill Batchelder spoke
for about 5 minutes and then the Governor spoke for about 20. The
majority of people in the room were affiliated with the Republican Party.
When Batchelder spoke, he told this group point blank that Ohio is in the
financial shape it is in because public employees have been bilking the
state out of money for years. I promised myself that I would not become
outraged to the point where I had to leave, so I stayed.
The Governor spoke for about 5 of the 20 minutes on Senate Bill 5. I
thought you might be interested in some of the things he said. He told
the audience that public employees do not pay a dime into their pension
fund and that they do not pay a dime for their healthcare insurance. As
you know, this is a bold face lie. The public pension systems of Ohio
have noted that 98% of public employees DO pay 10% of their salary to the
retirement system. I hope you know that you do as well. Ten percent of
your salary goes to STRS and the school district does pay an additional
14% for you. This is no different from an employee who has a pension from
his or her company or a matched 401 (k). Nearly every professional
employee of any company that is worth its salt has one or both of these
benefits. Additionally, many public employees pay a percentage of their
health care cost. You pay 20%.
The Governor said that "we are at war with these people." He also
said that he wishes they would just accept Senate Bill 5 because he is
going to spend millions in tax payer money to defend it in the campaign.
He said if it goes down, he and the legislature are going to "ram it
through"
in other legislation. He commented that his polls are showing
that as many as 70% of Republicans are going to vote the bill down and he
doesn't understand why.
He also tried to tell the people that he tried to sit down with union
leadership and they declined. I guess he forgot that the union leadership
approached him before Senate Bill 5 passed and he had the doors of the
State House LOCKED for the first time ever in history. He locked us out
of our building and said he was not discussing anything. His actions made that clear.
Although many people in the room clapped when he said other things, no
one clapped during this Senate Bill 5 piece. He entertained about 10
questions. No one asked anything about Senate Bill 5. They all asked
about why he is selling the turnpike to a foreign nation and why he is
"selling jails" to private companies which may be foreign nations
when the major religions have deemed this immoral, unethical and unjust.
They also asked about tax abatements, Obama Care and Medicare in Ohio.
After every single question, he turned the tables around and made a
comment that public employees have caused Ohio to be in financial ruin
and that is why he was doing all of these things.
I understand that Ohio is in bad financial shape. I really do. I
understand that we need reform. You cannot "ram through" reform and
you cannot blame the state of the economy on the hard working people of
Ohio. The absolute thing that bothered me the most about the whole ordeal
was that he lied to the people in that room. He spread a bold face lie as
propaganda in order to make his bill look valid. It made me sick.
This Governor is a bully and the legislature is his posse. We have to
stand up to this bully AND to his posse. We need to make sure that our
family members, our friends, our neighbors-anyone who will
listen-know the truth and know that these lies are coming from
Columbus. If you don't stand up for yourself now, this will only be the
beginning of a downward turn from which we will never recover.
Hang in there,
Thank you,
Joseph R Edinger
Superintendent of East Holmes Local Schools

Thursday, April 14, 2011

God is good

There are things that happen in one's life. Things that speak to you and tell you that God cares for us and wants us to be happy. Some are grand expressions and obvious statements of God's love. Others are more subtle. They almost pass by without our notice. Then we realize what happened and recognize it as the greatness that it is. Some examples you say? But of course...in no particular order..
1. Beer
2. Birth of a child
3. Rainbows
4. The existence of people like Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, and Nelson Mandela.
5. Chocolate

There is one such happening on the horizon. I know I am not the only one who sees this for what it is. It is a true gift and reassurance that no matter how much we have suffered that God will lead us out of darkness and into the light. That evil, no matter how much it seems to have a grasp on us all, has an end. Now, I don't fancy myself a prophet but I feel secure in saying that this event may well be the turning point of our civilization. The catalyst that will launch us into a new dawn of reality. No more spoon fed psycho babble or demeaning veiled as "moving tribute". The end of us being manipulated like marionettes on a string to do this or buy that or lose weight or not or read this or believe that. This event marks yet another expression of God's love and kindness and our own freedom. What is this event you ask? This event is a simple one, but one that is receiving some fanfare. It finally has come and after it happens we can all go back to being the true expressions of ourselves that we were meant to be.

Devil, get behind us! We shall overcome! Yes we can! The only thing we have to fear is fear itself! Whoomp, there it is! A day that will live in infamy!

It will be here soon. I can't wait. A day of new hope and renewal for us all. Thank you Lord for you goodness and mercy. For this event truly shows us your love for us.



That event is.......



The FINAL Oprah Winfrey Show
May 25, 2011


Friday, April 8, 2011

Okay so it could be worse...

And I thought my job sucked!. Seriously there has to be a different way to do this right?

There are several things happening here. First, THEY ARE COBRAS!! I mean it's not like this guy was asked to clean out the baby seal pit or even the lion pit. Seriously I would rather do the lion. At least there is just the one lion to deal with. At some point during the job description this guy read "Clean out cobra pit" and decided he could do that. "It falls under duties otherwise assigned. Your regular job is to sweep up around the trash cans and and give some moron directions to the polar bears that are right behind him. And before you clock just make sure the cobra pit is cleaned up." I'm sorry what?
Second, What is the appropriate attire for cleaning out a cobra pit. I'm going to go ahead and guess that it's not rolled up sweats, soccer jersey, shoulder bag, and flip flops. This guy looks like someone stopped him on the way to the beach. "Hold up a second I gotta clean out the cobra pit before we play frisbeee."  How about at least wearing some boots and pants that cover your ankles. At least give the snake something to bite through. If it's me I am in a suit or armor and still pissing myself.
Third, How is he not bitten. It's like he's the cobra whisperer. He must have watched some Raiders of the Lost Ark because there is no way Indiana Jones makes it out of the place alive and this is as close as it gets in real life. I mean he isn't even looking half the time and tossing them like I toss my laundry. Except I am tossing two year old underwear not COBRAS!
And who is the person taking the video and not telling this dude how completely mental he is. There is no way I am taking that video and not screaming at this guy that he is stupid. He might as well be in the library it's so quiet. And he's just having casual conversation with the folks watching. "Hey man when your done you wanna grab a taco?"
"Sounds good, but I gotta stop at the bank first."
How about telling him to get the hell out of the cobra pit because they are cobras and they will kill you and your bandana won't save you.

This video helps me appreciate how good my life actually is. As much as I think my job sucks, I could be that guy.  After work I will go home and hug my family and have a beer with my wife. This guy will go home feed his pet tiger have a beer with the guy who brushes the alligators teeth.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Some things change

So Stacey and Tomas went to Florida for the week. I stayed home to bring home the bacon. And with what I get paid that's about what I am actually bringing home.

It's funny that when I have an entire week alone I choose to do the exact same things I chose to do when I was 29. Watch sport and movies and play video games. Some things never get old I guess.

The one thing that did change was the fact that I can't stay up late and get up bright and shiny in the morning anymore. Holy. I was up until about midnight a couple times watching crappy movies. When I got up the next morning it was like I took a shot from the "What the hell were you thinking" stick straight to my bald dome. What? I used to do this all the time. On top of that I would stay up and go out drinking. I should be able to at least stay awake until Letterman finishes the Top Ten List and be functional the next day. Right? Not so much. If I did that twice in a week on a regular basis now I would get fired for either not showing up or sleeping with my face on my desk. Oh well, now I just sit on my couch drinking a diet coke and watching whatever action movie Stacey put next on our Netflix list. Hopefully it ends by 11 o'clock, if not I can finish it tomorrow night.

"Chris, you look like stir fried shit this morning, you sick?
"Nope just stayed awake past the evening news watching The Expendables." Damn Stallone and his band of mercenaries.
"Expendables?
"Shut up."

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

It's Coming!

One week from tomorrow the Madness begins. Even if you don't like basketball this is an event you have to love. If you don't you are not American or you're Communist or something weird. The first weekend of the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament is the most exciting event in sports history. Apologies to the those gladiator fellas but let's face it...nobody is mauled by lions at the tournament. Come on, my family's here and your gonna let a lion eat a guy while my kid sucks down a soda and some nachos? Big Dance..no lions..little blood...nachos optional. With the new TV coverage deal there will be basketball games on for 12 straight hours without interruption. Go from one channel to another and never miss a game. Last second shots, fast break dunks, Cinderella's knocking off the favorites, and best of all....Gus Johnson. Watch this and try to not love March Madness!!



And this is just funny.

Gus Johnson Soundboard

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Lunch Break

I know I'm not the only one his has the "I won the lottery" daydream right? Every now and then, sometimes more often than others I will be in my car and have this day dream. It is usually on a day that I just don't want to be at work so it's easier to drift into it. Yesterday was one of those days.

I had won the Mega Millions. This is the immediate give away that it is a dream because I have never played the Mega Millions, much less won even $1 from it. Of course the first person I would call is my wife. Because if I didn't call her first she would call me out on it in front of family, friends, reporters, everyone for the rest of my natural life. She immediately calls bullshit and tells me to stop bothering at work. She hangs up. Well honey, I tried. The next person I call is my friend Seth. Not your parents? Not your employer to tell them to hire some new lackey to schlep around? Not you daughter? No! It's my daydream and I called Seth. Back off! Reason being....Seth is an accountant. I need him to tell me what to do with this landall of cashola that has been bestowed upon me. After Seth gives me his sound financial advice and makes me promise to take him to one Buckeyes game a year, because I will of course be purchasing a luxury box at Ohio Stadium, I proceed to call my family and then Addie and Tomas.

I immediately put a big chunk of it into some kind of investment that I won't every touch. Unless of course I blow it all on crack and hookers then I will have to dip into it. I then go through the laundry list of things I am going to do with the money. Pay off debt is right at the tippy top. Credit cards, school loans, car notes, school loans, mortgage, school loans. It's amazing how once all of that is paid off how much I will still have left. Right now it seems like that mountain is insurmountable and will be hovernig over me the rest of my life. And yet in "I won the lottery world" it doesn't even exist.

Next is setting up my kids for school and beyond. Then breaking off a little to the fam for all the shit they have endured on my behalf over the years. A little something special for Gerry for letting my ex wife and I live in his living room for 6 months all those years ago (it might have been longer, I'm sure it felt like it for him). Then Tylersville Road Christian Chrurch gets a chunk to help pay off their mortgage and add onto their existing building. So that makes me good with the kids, good with the family, and good with God. Because everyone knows God always loves the church building with the gymnasium.

The following list is simply ridiculous and self indulgent. But I just won the lottery and I can be ridiculous and self indulgent. Look at Charlie Sheen. Winning! Trips to Australia and Hawaii and Europe and Alaska and anywhere else a cruise ship or plane can take me and Stacey, a summer house in Jamaica or some Caribbean paradise, my Volkswagon Beetle, part ownership of a microbrewery (free beer folks), dinner with Prince (I'm sure he has a price),......

This is going to be awesome. Where will we travel first? I wonder how I contact realtors in Jamaica. I bet it costs a lot to ship a vintage Beetle from California to Ohio. I could go get it myself. I could stay at Charlie Sheen's house. No, somebody less publice right now. Maybe Governor Arnold's place. What is that sound? It must be the cruise ship horn....

I hear a car horn and realize that I'm not accelerating through the stoplight at a rate of speed that is acceptable to the large gentleman with the skull cap in the 1985 Buick Regal with 22 inch chrome spinning wheels behind me. I have been slapped back to reality quite harshly. Thanks a lot Mr Tons o' Fun. One minute I am in Jamaica driving my Beetle with Prince and the next minute I'm being honked at by the Biggest Loser at an intersection in Hamilton, Ohio. Oh how the dream fades so fast. In that moment it literally pisses me off that Biggie and his beater honked me out of it. I'm so mad that it's not real. Then I have to tell myself, "You are a complete idiot. Snap out of it and go to work. It's the lottery dream. Everybody does it."

Right?

Friday, March 4, 2011

I need Bob

Do you have that piece of music that just calms your soul? It just does something to you that nothing else can do? This is mine. I don't know why. Obviously it's all about smokin the herb. I don't and have never done that so I can't relate to that aspect of it at all. I guess it's just the vibe I get from it and the overall mood of the melody that does it for me. I am needing this song today. Nothing really significant has happened. Nothing out of the ordinary work stress and life circumstances, but today I needed to hear Bob.

I have other pieces of music that I need at different times as well. It's how I cope with the feelings that I am having. To me feelings are several things. They are personal, because no one can tell me what I am or am not feeling. They are humbling, because they bring back to the realization that you are human and vulnerable in more ways than you realize. They are revealing, because they come about in times when you least expect them and force you to examine the root of their existence in that moment. They are dangerous, because if they are allowed to they can have mighty influence over our frail human psyche. Music is that thing that tames the beast for me. Different feelings call for different remedies though. Stress = Bob.

                                                                        Anger = Rage



                                                                     Happy = Martin



Love = Etta



Nostalgic = PE



Confident = Prince


I feel better now.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Simmer Down


If I see one more "Clooney Watch" I might just poke my eyes out. I mean really? If you do not live in the Cincinnati area or do and have been in a coma I should tell you that he is in town filming a movie. It's what he does for a living these days. Apparently this is a huge event in the heartland and we are doing what we do best with things that are huge. We are making it even huger. That's right I said huger.

I understand that he is a "hometown boy". He actually attend St. Susanna School at some point right down the street from my house. But do we have to behave like one giant 11 year old girl at a Justin Bieber show because George is in town doing his job. Are there minute by minute reports and fan stalking sites dedicated to any other "home town" personality? I've never seen a Sarah Jessica Parker Watch. I'm pretty sure there weren't Nipsy Russell Watches. Carmen Electra might come to town and nobody would know, that's okay though, not sure we want to claim her.

I would like to call for a Chris Watch. I am a home town guy. I would like to have the news report my whereabouts and every move to the Tristate. I think it is important that every living breathing person in the are be subjected to seeing me do my job. What? Not interested?

Look Chris is standing in a school waiting on a parent to show up for an interview. Now he's walking into a room to interview and child. Chris was seen driving through KFC. It is said that he ordered a BBQ Chicken Sandwich. That's so Chris. We're not sure how long Chris will be at Monroe Middle School but you will be the first to know when he leaves. Chris was seen at Panera Bread the other night apparently braving the world of mortals to have a bowl of broccoli cheddar soup. The woman with him is apparently his wife but he likes to keep his personal life personal. Local fan, Karen took this photo of Chris waiting at a red light.

Just insert the name Clooney into those and you will see what we are being fed by the local media in the Queen City these days. I've always kind of liked George. His movies have been decent for the most part, some were excellent. He appears to be as down to earth as those Hollywood types can possible be. But I'm starting to hate him now. Sorry George. It's not really your fault though. Come on Cincinnati be proud of him. Encourage him. Go see his movies. Buy his memorabilia for your in home shrine to Cincinnati fame. But act like you've been there before.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

My Background

Nachi Cocom. In Spanish it means, coolest place on earth. Okay, that may not be completely accurate, but it should be. This place is easily at the top of my list of places I have been that completely rock. Cleveland is obviously a close second.

Nachi is a beach club on Cozumel, Mexico. Stacey and I discovered this place on our first cruise together and have been back two times since. It really has everything I require to make a place unforgettable. First, it is a beach club so it has, you guessed, a beach. Second, cold beer. Third, warm weather. And finally, good food.

The first time our well qualified taxi driver turned down the "road" to Nachi I was a little skeptical. As we crossed what appeared to be a dried up swamp surrounded by grass and dunes I thought we had made a mistake. It just didn't look like much. Dirt and gravel road/driveway, same in the parking lot, and maybe two other cars in said lot. I got that feeling that we were walking into a bad horror movie where the unknowing white tourists were walking into a south of the border version of Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

We made our way from the car to the entrance we were greeted by a woman who seemed surprised to see us. We later found out that it was because we were, thanks to my wonderful wife's need to be punctual, earlier than the average tourists. After we checked in in the dining area we were led to our palapa. I know it's just a straw umbrella but, when in rome. This is when the beauty of Nachi hit me. Without another soul within a mile or so of us we had a clear view of the Caribbean in front of us, a collections of palm tree hammocks to our right, a dock with wave runners and parasailing and the like to our left, and a pool/hot tub/bar/dining room behind us. Under our new palapa, now I'm just saying it cuz it's fun, we were surrounded by happy things.

After being given a good minute to take all of this in the good people at Nachi upped the ante. "Would you like a drink sir?" I forgot to mention tht Nachi is all you can eat and drink for $50. It's 10 in the morning, I'm on the beach, in Mexico, with only 5 hours left to enjoy this place. "We will have 2 Dos Equis and 2 shots of Tequila." Bring it.

This service continued in this manner, minus the added Tequila shots, for the next 4 hours and 58 minutes. The beers slowly turn into whatever mixed drink the gentlemen at the bar can think up. So, now look at my background and imagine yourself under one of those straw umbrellas without having to worry about picking up the kids, meeting a deadline, making a meeting, or driving in traffic and enjoying your favorite cold beverage. Add in a stroll in the surf, dip in the pool, a few drinks at the swim up bar, enjoying the hot tub, and mexican food so good it would make Gandhi smack his mama. That is Nachi Cocom.

I could go into details about the remainder of our day but it, and the other two days we spent there all pretty much ended the same. Me in the hot tub drinking some fruity drink with entirely too much alcohol in it. Stacey serving drinks behind the bar and speaking her best drunk spanish. At some point we realize that we had better leave or miss our cruise ship and have to mortgage the house for a plane ticket home. Some times we make the ship easy, other times not so easy.

I know it sounds like a big drunk fest. But, I could take in a day at Nachi Cocom without a drop to drink and never want to leave. There is something about the sound of the ocean that makes the world seem different. It makes everything slower, quieter, calmer. No wonder people use those recordings to fall asleep to. But the scenery is too beautiful for sleep. The sky is that color of blue that Crayola hasn't been able to match. The breeze has that warm salty taste to it. The sand slips between your toes like it was put there to specifically massage YOUR feet. And, because it's on the backside of the island, the cruise shipless horizon calls you to that place where you are both afraid to go to and can't wait to find. That is Nachi Cocom. My background. My favorite place.

Blogworthy

So since this is my blog I reserve the right to discuss those things that I feel are worthy to be discussed. That being said the following topics will NOT be discussed on this blog.
Fashion - I own three pair of non athletic shoes. Two brown, one black. Anything I wear will match them or I do not wear it. End of fashion blog.

CNN Headline News - Most of it just pisses me off. I may discuss something if I find it interesting or completing ridiculous but for the most part don't expect a daily news report.

Sex - Find another blog ya perv.

That's about it. Everything else may be discussed depending on my mood. Today, it's my background picture. More to come........

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Here we go.

So here's my blog. Not sure what I'm doing. Should be an interesting ride.